Birthing Classes

How??


Rich and I signed up for birthing classes at the hospital we're delivering at and have been to 3 of the 6 classes so far. So far I'm not so impressed but I'm definitely glad we're doing them. I could (and do) sit and google information about birth and labor and educate myself whenever I'm bored. Rich doesn't do that and I wouldn't expect any guy to want to learn about what is going to happen.

Going to these classes is teaching him a lot that he wouldn't have thought to ask or look up on his own. I did think it was funny though when on our first day of class I look over and he's googling "Labor" on his phone.

Basically we're one of four couples all there preparing for our first children. We've learned body parts on day one and what they're all going to be doing on that magical day. Our instructor paired the women together and the men together and had us fill in the blanks on an image of a woman's body indicating which body part that was called. "Now that we got our butt holes and vaginas in order..." I hear coming from the men's group and of course it's coming from MY snickering husband. I wouldn't expect any less :)

I get crampy and uncomfortable when she pulls out the pelvis and plastic baby and every time I think HOW??? How on earth is that supposed to fit through THERE? I get a kick from inside me as if she's laughing at me.

It's a little hippy-ish for me when we get on the floor and practice breathing methods but I usually just take this time to take advantage of the fact that DaddyO has to rub and massage my back. Of course we're usually the couple getting the side eye from the more mature couples because we're giggling about possibly letting a fart out during deep breathing.

We watch videos of real births and I'm shocked every time that not one of these mothers is cursing and screaming. They claim they're birthing unmedicated but I call shenanigans. Give me a baseball bat to the face, an epidural and just get her out quickly. It doesn't need to be peaceful and pretty. She won't remember her birth anyway.

3 classes down 3 to go.

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