The Day I Ninja Kicked My Baby

Not in the face, I kicked her walker.


Since I didn't get a photo of the incident I decided to draw it out for you for the visual. This inspiration came from last night when my friends and I did a "Mom's Night Out" at a local place where you drink wine and paint together.

I am not an artist. I suck. Never liked art and was definitely the worst "artist" of the group last night. I promise no more shitty art work after this but I couldn't resist:



So here we are in my kitchen. You can clearly see on the oven clock that it's 8:20am, there's my Keurig and my toaster next to the oven and to the right is the pantry (you can tell from the door knob). 

I'm cooking bacon because I wanted to surprise Daddy with breakfast. I don't cook bacon often. Really never, so I'm not used to grease splatter.

Olivia was in her walker "helping Mommy cook" by following me around the kitchen with her wooden spoon (no, that's not a microphone). She's wearing a blue shirt and no pants (per usual in the AM)

Olivia traveled too close and was right up to my legs.

All of a sudden SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT!!!!!!


I didn't want to hit her with hot grease so without thinking I kicked the shit out of the walker to get her away.
A simple shove of the foot would've been sufficient to get her out of harm's way but no, no I decided to really give her a go because I panicked. 

She thankfully wasn't hurt and even giggled about the sudden push but I was a total wreck after it  happened thinking "I can't believe I just kicked my baby!" "What if I gave her whiplash?" 

Mom Fail. 

** Not only do I fail at cooking but I also fail at art **

Note my feet are a weird Simpsons-like color but the rest of me has no pigment. I did however add in my ombre hair that seriously needs retouching. 

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