Things I could do pre-baby that I can't do now

Time for some Luls, eh? Here's a list of things I could do pre-baby that I can't do now:

1. Have bangs. I recently and regrettably got bangs again and when I woke up the next morning I remembered why I didn't have them constantly. Oh shit that's right, you have to straighten them and have time for them…. Well I got them cut and now I have to deal with months of awkward bobby-pinning when I don't have time to straighten them (which is always). Why is it you can never find a bobby pin when you need one yet when you don't need them there's 400 of them laying around the house?



2. Party my face off. You aren't allowed to be hungover when your child is awake at 6:30am wanting a bottle and you're watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for the 500th time that week. The Hot Dog song is forever engraved in my brain.



3. Sleep in. (No funny commentary, I just really wish I could sleep in. Like, 9am. That's all I want.)

4. Shower peacefully. Then: Take as long as I want using all my shower products, shave, exfoliate and moisturize then pop out smelling like a raspberry and refreshed. Today: Plop baby in a bouncy chair and take a quick 2-3 minute shower scrubbing every bit of yourself with the same one product hoping you might be able to shave your pits before the baby starts crying.


5. DIY crafts. Just kidding, I don't do crafts.



6. Be sick. You can't lay in bed with a remote and a box of tissues guzzling Nyquil anymore. The baby just puked and the dog just tore up a throw pillow! Plug a tissue up your nose and cough through it all.

7. Snuggle up on the couch in my yoga pants and watch an entire season of a tv show in one day. OMG that's the best! Gone are the lazy days and here are the crazy days filled with fun and love.



In all honesty, I'd rather be un-showered, tired, humming the Hot Dog song and missing out on the latest bars with my kid-free friends. Olivia is better than any of these things combined. She's showed me a way to love in the fiercest way I've never imagined.



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