Inside A Mom's Mind at Checkout at Target

Gone are the days when I could take a leisurely stroll around Target looking through every single aisle filling and emptying my cart with new things our home doesn't really need. 

These days, much like this morning, Olivia and I head in optimistic that this time will be different. 

We head to Starbucks first before grabbing a cart on our best behavior. Yes, I'm a pregnant woman who drinks coffee, grab your pitchforks. 

After the fresh fruit, home stuff, mom clothes, hair stuff, bypassing the toy aisles, we head to the baby aisle where the "I don't want to be here anymore" behavior begins. I try to settle her down but she's standing up in the cart trying to get out. Seat belt, shmeat belt, she can Houdini her way out of it. I grab a package of animal crackers, rip it open and hand her 2 or 3 completely ignoring past-me who once scoffed, "I'll never feed my child food from a package!" Hah! 

Check out goes a little something like this: 

Unload a handful of stuff

Set Olivia back down in the cart who has Houdini'ed herself out of her seat again

Unload another handful of stuff in no order whatsoever, just kind of bear hug a pile of stuff and plop it on the belt

Put Olivia on the ground since she refuses to sit

Apologize to the person in front of and behind us for no reason, I'm just a sorry-sayer

Forget to check Cartwheel so try to update that quickly while wrangling a runaway child

Ask the gal behind us to pretty please hand me my coffee that I left on top of the cooler (Does anyone else do this every. single. time? I set it on top of that cooler to unload and leave it there 70+% of the time.) 

Crap! It's our turn! Am I ready for this?

Forget about the 10 crumpled coupons at the bottom of my purse

Forget to have the checkout lady scan my Cartwheel

Try to find the 5 or so $5 Target gift cards at the bottom of my purse I've accumulated

Find a coupon! Damn. Expired.

Pick the kid off the ground. Gross, don't touch that.

Phone rings. "Who on earth would call me at a time like this?!" 

Hand Olivia 2 more animal crackers and almost forget to have the lady scan them. Apologize for almost stealing! 
All of a sudden I somehow paid and the bags are in the cart along with the kid. How much did I just spend...?

Shit, I forgot the bread. 
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1 comment

  1. This made me laugh out loud! Great post. I'm showing it to all my mommy friends. :-)


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