While he was driving he was narrating to me what to text his cousin. It turned into quite the wordy text but while he was done saying "Something along those lines" I set his phone down in the cup holder.
R: You texted all that?
T: I'm a woman. Fast texting is in our genes.

While cleaning out one of our storage closets he found old paintings I had done at a wine and canvas girls night out.
R: These are pretty good, why don't you want to hang them?
T: Those are awful. No. I was drunk when I did them anyway.
R: Well maybe that's the trick? Let's just get you drunk during craft time with Olivia or baking cookies...?
I'm not entirely opposed....

While pouring himself a glass of wine
R: {Singing} These are a few of my favorite things

Discussing our annual Super Bowl party we've hosted for the past 8 years.
T: I'll be giving birth not even two weeks prior to the Super Bowl {tossing him a 'duh' look}
R: So... no?
T: {duh look turned strictly no}
Trust me, I'm actually super bummed because our Super Bowl party is always our biggest party we host of many throughout the year. This year I'll celebrate my first beer in 9+ months that day. I'm sure I'll be shnockered after only 1/2. We like, We like to party.

While tickling Olivia she - ahem - released herself.
R: Oh my God, I literally just tickled the shit out of her!

Disciplining Olivia and explaining why she can't do what she was doing:
R: Here's a shovel, can you dig it?

Olivia was watching TV with her hands down the back of her diaper digging around
R: Ah, there I am.

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