Heard 'Round The House

"Why is my passport in the garbage?"
"Who farted/pooped? Which was it?"
"Please stop drinking the dog water."
"I feel bad for US"
Rich while Olivia was throwing an epic tantrum (because her macaroni wasn't ready fast enough)
T: When do babies' eye color change to the color they're gonna be?
R: Tuesdays
T: ......
"Stop bribing her with cookies"
T: I'm going to get the mail
R: Have fun
T: No, I actually really truly will
It's my only alone time these days
"No, no no! Mommy's thyroid meds aren't nums."
And I'm pretty sure those could kill you. Thank goodness for childproof locks
"Great! Now the dog is obese"
After finding Olivia had reached the dog biscuits and fed Biscuit 30+ milkbones

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