Bachelorette Recap 5/25 Punching Each Other In The Face for Love

I missed the first few minutes of the show but saw that ABC was being gross in filming more of Britt crying. She didn't get to be the Bachelorette yet they still won't leave her alone. No, she wasn't my favorite but now it's just plain mean. Her crying and being unhappy is NOT entertainment. Showing her crying on the phone with her mom feels icky and too personal to watch. It's very sad. Please leave the poor girl alone unless you have something stellar planned for her.
 
Brady, I think his name was, came to Britt's hotel room for a hug. He left Kaitlyn because he felt a real connection with Britt and he came for Britt. If he's being sincere then I'm rooting for them. If he's not and just wants TV time then please, once again, leave Britt alone. Brady looks completely stoned out of his mind at all times.
 
 
 
Back at the mansion the first of the dates are announced and who is going on them. This is when I'm first learning that one of the guys is named Kupa. Kupa - that's his given name - I couldn't NOT think of one of these
 
 
The first group date requires the guys to knock each other out until only one of them is left to get the rose. Literally fighting for Kaitlyn's attention. I started doing push ups and Googling where I could take boxing lessons after seeing how fit Kaitlyn was so I kind of zoned out during the entire Leila Ali cameo but she was there.
 
 
She didn't seem to want to be there but she was there.
 
 
 The guys were actually beating the SHIT out of each other. It became a little uncomfortable to watch because I hate fighting. I would never date or marry a guy that enjoys fighting. The problem with this date is the guys didn't have a choice. They were forced to beat the shit out of each other for everyone else's entertainment. If they said no they'd be labeled as unmanly. If I were the Bachelorette I'd much prefer a wine and canvas date. We'd get day-drunk and paint butterflies and the rose would go to who made the best martini. But that's jus'me.
 
So after they fought and Jared went to the hospital Kaitlyn was talking to the guys when she rudly received a note and got up and left to go see who needed to see her at that moment. It was Jared to collect his sob story rose. Being punched in the face or telling a story about how your puppy was run over in front of you or how you help orphans in Nepal will always get you the sympathy-rose.
 
The NFL try-out guy got the rose on the group date because he beat the most people up.
 
Clint gets a one-on-one. Clint is 'aight  in my book because he drew a picture of Chris Harrison on a triceratops. Anyone who does that can sit with me.
 
 
On their date they took pictures under water which actually looked really cool.
 
 
I told Rich we should do some but he said they'd have to 'shop the fart bubbles out of our pictures.
Nothing but romance.
 
The next group date included The Love Guru, Unemployed JJ, Ian (my fave for her) and a couple other guys. They were met with Amy Schumer and I jealously yelled "Lucky!" at my tv to the guys.
 
 
 
I'm gonna go on a tangent here. Hang on, I promise it's worth it. I actually met Amy at a club in New York a few years ago. She was with Jeffrey Ross and they were pretty hammered and dancing their frickin faces off. At the bar we were ordering right next to each other and I couldn't NOT talk to her.
 
T: Can I just say I LOVE you!
A: Can I just say I love you more.
 
Then we had a sleep over and braided each other's hair and made BFF bracelets.
 
So the guys had to do a stand up routine in front of a real live crowd. I would shit.my.pants. Public speaking is my Achilles heel and I would either black out from fear or from the multiple drinks I would need to consume prior to getting on a stage.
I'd much rather be on the prior date getting punched in the face.
 
Love Guru Tony and Kaitlyn sat down where Tony was campaigning for "Weirdest Contestant Ever". I'm sure we'll see him on Bachelor Island with Ashley S. from last year.
 
JJ came off as smarmy and cocky and took the lead in my book for 'asshole of the season'.
Jimmy Neutron was guy #43 that Kaitlyn made out with for the week.
 
 
JJ got the rose because he has a 3 year old daughter. I think that's the only reason.
 
Joshua the welder became my new favorite because he just seems like such a sweetheart. I don't want him to win though, he's my vote for the next Bachelor.
 
So then Koopa Troopa got aggressive. (Don't!) Be Be aggressive. Kaitlyn said she wasn't into him anymore and he was all "BRB gonna go tell the guys what a bitch you are". Kaitlyn heard him and told him he should just leave now. Koopa Troopa started yelling at the camera guy and producers and the Bachelorette said
To Be Continued....
 
once again.
 
The most accurate depiction of Koopa getting ornery.

No comments

SMD Favorites