Memorial Weekend

We celebrate summer holidays the day before the actual holiday - or "holiday eve" as they're now infamously known on the internet. Not because we're trendy (we're not) but because we work on the actual holiday so to give the kids a fighting chance at holidays we celebrate "Memorial's Day Eve", "The 3rd of July" and "Almost Labor Day". It's a hoot.

We drove to the lake house for some grilling, lake views, and beers and enjoyed Rich's rendition of songs such as: 

Elastic Fart by Sia
This is my fart song by Rachel Platten
and who could forget the classic: 
Total Eclipse of the fart by Bonnie Tyler

We finally arrived and fired up the grill. I didn't get to eat anything because "my" burger became Olivia's and Olivia's burger became the dog's. I was wondering why I was starving the entire way home and polished off the remainder of the warm watermelon we had left.

"Beer Me!"

My uncle is a photographer who showed me everything I was doing wrong with my camera and taught me how to take better pictures. I wish I would've wrote everything down because the moment he was done talking I forget every single thing he said and went back to iPhone snapping.

No water activities for us because the weather sucky suck sucked.
No four-wheeling because I'm not cool with the kids riding those yet.
No yard games because we forgot to bring them.
We had a blast.

Rich worked ALLLLLLLL day the next day. He left around 6am and wasn't expected home until 2am. Such is our life. The kids were decent until 5pm rolled around and made me regret not having any alcohol in the house. Kidding. Kind of.

When I told Olivia no more TV after a marathon of Elmo on Demand she decided to start wrecking the joint while I quickly tried doing dishes.
Literally every curse word. All the F words. All the S words. All the GD's.

My couch is disgusting. Disgusting! I can't wait to get a new one. This one isn't even old. We had a leather couch last time and I wanted suede because "it's cold to sit on in the morning when I'm wearing shorts and I have to put sweatpants on before I can even sit down" < That was pre-kids Teri who's biggest concern was cold thighs and where I was going for happy hour that afternoon. #TheStruggleIsReal I will now never ever ever get anything other than leather as long as I live.

I can't wait but I will wait until the kids are a little older before we buy a new one so they can keep grossing this couch out. Covered in pee and toots and juice and milk then dog lick stains from the dog eating everything dropped onto it. Sick. Olivia uses this as her personal snot rag so before company comes over I have to baby wipe the boogers off the edges. I may leave that tidbit out of the Craigslist ad.

Rich came home early and by early I mean 11. We posted up on the couch with pizza and a Forensic Files Marathon. We be crazy.

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