WTF is a Slothbear?

When I woke up Tuesday morning I had no idea I had less than 24 hours to get two adults and two children ready for a flight across the country as well as arranging someone to watch the dog while we were gone. That's what happens when you have a family emergency, or in our case, a death.
Sadly we had to fly to Florida for a service for a wonderful man who will never be forgotten.

There aren't a ton of hilarious stories. Or photos. Much of our time was spent enjoying each other's company free from selfies or internet or adventures. It was nice being able to get together with family, lay on the floor in our pajamas, have some wine, and just ... talk.

Our first night we stayed at our aunt's house with both kids and it. was. a. night. mare. NIGHTMARE. Olivia was awake screaming her head off until about 4:00 in the morning. I wish I was exaggerating. She wasn't used to the new bed, in a new house, not having her crib, and trying to fall asleep after all the excitement of travelling and seeing family. I didn't get to sleep until about 4:45am and Liam woke me up bright and early at 6. We went to the service on less than two hours of sleep. After the service was the luncheon where she shrieked even louder. After losing my cool for the 199999th time I grabbed both kids under my arms and hightailed it straight to the first hotel I found. No goodbyes, no explanations - just LEFT. I couldn't handle the crankiness and they clearly needed a good night (day- whenever) sleep and checked into the Holiday Inn Express with two screaming children. There are moments when you just break and I broke. I hate to admit that I lost my cool big time with the kids but the emotions and lack of sleep hit me hard. I know ( I hope ) every mom reading this can relate and can remember that ( or those many ) day(s) she totally lost her cool on her kids.

The front desk clerk gave me keys to a room quicker than I think any hotel clerk has ever given someone keys just to get them out of their lobby. They both fought me the entire way to the room and finally (FINALLY!) crashed hard.

I can't blame the kids. They were abruptly brought to a new place after two long flights without any of their usual belongings and did the best they could. They were wonderful on all four flights (there and back) and let us know they were upset with the changes the only way they knew how - flipping the F___ out.

That night both kids fell asleep around 7pm and slept completely uninterrupted ALLLLL the way to 8am Friday morning. It was glorious. It was refreshing. It was so needed after the shitshow they put on the previous day.

As a reward for their behavior we took a trip to the zoo on Friday. We went to Busch Gardens multiple times but found that the Lowry zoo was geared way more towards Olivia's age and the scenery was just gorgeous. Bonus that it's cheaper!

While walking around there were a lot of exhibits with odd animals but the animals weren't in the cage? pen? enclosure? When we got to this one and saw no such animal I knew they were fucking with us at this point. They had to be, right?


I saw no bears. Or sloths. Or sloth bears. Moving on.
They had a feed the giraffes exhibit which was by far the coolest part. Apparently the giraffe's name was Randall but I preferred 'David Schwimmer'. Madagascar reference? No? Ok.
The more I stare at this photo the more it looks like my face and neck don't match. I promise I know how to apply makeup, I don't know what's going on there. Sun flush? I'll go with that.

My mother in law felt totally at ease; cool, calm and completely collected.

A natural.

We packed up early because my little Minnesotan kids weren't used to the 90 degree Tampa sun so we called it an early night and kicked back with our favorite beers from the South. We can't buy these in Minnesota so whenever we're down there we have to pick up some Yuenglings. (Pronounced "Ying Ling" not "You Eng Ling" as I first said it.)
Stop for a second. How dope is my nail color? It's my new favorite. Obsessed. Thirty year olds can say dope, right?
I'm also in love with the shorts I bought on the way to the zoo and plan on buying one in every single color. They fit perfect and were so comfortable I felt pants-less. Always a great feeling.
 Our flights went well-ish. More on that later. The kids' grades overall on the flight:
Liam: A-
Olivia: B+
The kids' grades overall at the service and reception:
Liam: D-
Olivia: F - - - - - -

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