So Thankful - Corn Free Edition

Obviously I'm thankful for my family, friends, kids, husband, roof over my head blah blah blah but let's talk about what we're thankful for that doesn't usually get shout outs? 


+ My iPhone. Providing me with endless hours of entertainment, candy crushing, internet browsing, something to do while on the can, my camera, oh and a way to talk to my friends and family.

+ Hummus. That shit's good.

+ Instagram filters. Obvi. #NoFilter #NoShit

+ My dishwasher. If I had to wash by hand I'm pretty sure our family would eat off paper plates with plastic forks. {I actually do already eat with plastic forks or with a toddler fork because I don't like metal in my mouth.} 

+ New Adele music. I blast "Hello" in the shower almost every morning and belt it out loudly obviously sounding exactly like her. Rich filmed me while I was in the shower singing horribly and very loudly and when I realized what he was doing I threw open the door completely naked so he couldn't post the video anywhere. 

+ Mickey Mouse for babysitting my kids while I get things done.

+ My housekeepers. Good Lord I'm thankful for them.

+ Sweatshirts for allowing me to let my fat hang out and cover up the fact that I'm not wearing a bra.

+ Target.

+ People who deliver food. Especially Coborns. I just used them for the first time and they deliver wine as well. Might as well sell the mini van. I'm officially never leaving the house again. 

+ Boxed wine. Specifically Chardonnay and Cabernet Sauvignon. Num.

+ Internet. I'd probably get so much more done if it wasn't around. 

+ Hashtags. I don't use them to follow similar topics. I use them to be snarky. #Duh

+ Scream Queens. Still my favorite show. I heart Chad so hard. 

+ Gel nail polish so my lazy doesn't show as much. 

+ Eyebrow waxing. I'd be very beastly without my bi-weekly waxes. 

+ The word Fuck. 

+ Diamonds. Hey, I told you this wasn't supposed to be serious. Of course I love my diamonds. I'm thankful I have a husband who knows this as well and buys me said diamonds. #NeverFakeStuff

+ My enormous closet. When we built the house I had 2 requirements: a giant walk in closet that we DO NOT share and a poop room. A poop room is when the toilet is in a separate room from the bathroom so someone can shit while the other gets ready without smelling anything. And yes, I called it a poop room to my builder. My closet is MY area and holds all of my favorite things. It's the one room I'm super OCD about. Every hanger must be black and facing the same way and all clothing is organized by color and facing the same way. 

+ Macaroni and Cheese. Blue box only. Don't give me that fake shit. Bonus when they're shaped like Ninja Turtles or Sponge Bob. Oh those curly ones? The beeeeeeeeessssssttttttt. 

+ Maternity clothes. Why didn't I own these pre-kids? Maternity pants are so forgiving. Yes, I'm wearing them today. No joke. I'm gonna EAT. 

+ Mac makeup and the Mac makeup artist who taught me how to contour. I'm not yet a pro but I'm getting there.

+ Eyelash extensions. I haven't had them in forever and all I asked for this Christmas are mink eyelash extensions. I'm allowed to be materialistic in this post.

+ Big fluffy blankets

+ Makeup free days. 

+ Peter Thomas Roth face masks

+ Long hot showers. Showering is my favorite time of day because I'm all alone, usually singing Adele or rapping along with Fetty Wap and no one can talk to me. When Rich tries to join me I give him the boot. No. This is my time. Alone time. Get. 

+ My dad, husband and mother in law. No, no, no. I said I wouldn't be corny. I'm thankful for them because they can cook and I cannot. My dad asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year and I said 'enchiladas' 
Seriously. That's all I wanted and that's what he made me. 

+ Taco Bell

Okay, I'm stopping now. This post turned into talking about food and I'm starving. Have a Happy Thanksgiving all! Stretchy pants, no makeup and lots of wine and stuffing are all that's on my agenda today. 

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