Christmas 2015

I'm probably going to say this every year but this was my favorite Christmas ever. It was Liam's first Christmas and the first year that Olivia really understood Santa and gifts and tells everyone "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Birthday" whatevs. Next year I'll really participate in that stupid Elf on the Shelf and not just take inappropriate pictures of it while drunk with my friend; yea that happened. I tried doing it this year and explain everything to Olivia while she blank stared at me. I excitedly said "Oh my gosh Olivia! Look! Archie moved!" she stared at me like I had horns and said "I have to poop" Nnnn'alright.

At the mall riding the "chri-muss choo choo"
The kids received way too many gifts so my goal this week is to donate 99% of their old stuff keeping only their absolute favorites. We spent Christmas Eve at my in-laws and laughed as Olivia yelled "OH MY GOSH!" while opening every single present. Every single gift was either Frozen or Minnie themed. Rich got the Amazon Echo and we still don't know how to properly use it. So far she's much more helpful than Siri but really, literally anyone is more helpful than her.
Grandma has a piano so naturally Olivia played and sang her little heart out. She was slowly singing something and kept saying nobody so I think she may have been trying to sing a Keith Sweat song. Liam cried for food and whined when I wasn't holding him EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE.
Red lips on Christmas, channeling my inner Taylor Swift

I got a call from my dad that my grandma was in the hospital. (She's okay by the way) so I rushed over to see her. My grandma raised me. She is my mom. I brought her some tea and trashy magazines and we watched Family Feud together. I returned to my mother in laws to find the kids naturally beating the shit out of each other over 1 of 238 toys.

I got the GoPro Hero 4 camera and have ZERO idea what I'm doing with it yet but I'm excited for the shenanigans we'll get into with it. There's so many pieces to it and if something has more than 5 buttons or 3 tiny pieces I have no idea how to use it.

We tucked the kids in and stuffed stockings and put the presents under the tree. We can't have any out before Christmas because they'd all be opened and fought over immediately. Rich and I exchanged gifts Christmas Eve so it was just the two of us and Christmas morning would be all about the kids. He's the hardest person to shop for because he either has what he wants or it's not available yet. I got him the Swag Way thing (I really don't know what it is) and we've already had a few injuries. I'm terrified of falling and breaking a leg so I go about .4 mph on it.

Rich got me a storage thing for my hair styling products because they typically just sit in my bathroom sink while my makeup and face products sprawl out over 4/5 of our "shared" bathroom countertop. He's so picky with organization and cleanliness that it sometimes drives me nuts. I swear he should've been a drill sergeant the way an unmade bed or dirty dish sitting out gives him the rage. He also got me a Starbucks and Barnes and Noble gift card and I DIED. I love reading and I love sipping coffee while doing so. Ohhhhh I can't wait to go pick new books! I also got the Ion One Touch Professional Dryer which I maaaaaaaay return. My hair is super manageable so I don't need expensive tools and products. A CHI straightener? Nah. I'll keep using my $15 crappy Revlon one. I seriously had the same hair dryer from high school for YEARS and then bought a $10 hair dryer when it finally kicked the bucket.

I thought our gift exchange was done so we cuddled up on the couch and watched movies. He said "Oh wait! I totally forgot" and ran upstairs coming back down with another gift. I told him for months to not get me anything and I was dead serious. I know I come off as materialistic (who doesn't love new stuff?) but I truly didn't want or need anything. I opened the box and when I saw that distinct bright white box with little gray lettering I stared at him and knew he spent way too much fucking money this year. No. No. No. I handed it back to him and said to return it. We argued for about 5 minutes and then I opened my new baby: My MacBook Air. I even dreamt about my new baby last night. My blog game is about to get strong. Or annoying. We'll see.

I got Rich my favorite man-perfume which is really just a gift for me. Givenchy Pi will make any gal melt into a horny puddle. I love the way he mispronounces Givenchy and won't correct him because it's so cute. I'm pretty sure this scent had something to do with my two kids being here today.
TMI? Maybe. I'm an open book and not very lady like.

We went to see The Good Dinosaur with the kids, Grandma, my brother, and sister in law. It is SUCH a cute movie and I may have shed a tear or two. When the T-Rex roared the theater was silent for a second and Olivia loudly roared and growled "dinosaur!"


We then went to a family friend's house Christmas evening for food, wine, family, laughs, and Santa made a visit. Olivia lost her little mind with excitement when he walked in the front door. There were tons of kids and that's what Christmas is about - the joy and excitement in the kids' eyes. We played games, made fart jokes, got a little tipsy, and had such a great time. Family isn't biological, it's who you decide it is.

This was the best Christmas ever, other than my Grandma's mishap which turned out to be okay because she's now on pain meds and back to her funny, sweet self and no longer in pain. Next year cannot be as extravagant. This family went way too overboard with "stuff". I also need to teach my kids to not be as obnoxious with "things" as Rich and I are. I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!


Or not.

Full disclosure: This post has affiliated links which means if you click on the link and buy it I make like, twelve cents. 

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