Show and Tell Tuesday: Teri Talk Show

So I skipped the last linkup of 'show and tell us your life's mix tape' because it got too emotional and me and feelings are just not a great pair. It's like oil and water, brushing your teeth then eating an orange, all you can eat buffets and self control. I'm coming back this time to Show and Tell about your fake talk show. I kind of rolled my eyes too but stay with me here. 

The only talk show I actually watch is Ellen. I've seen Chelsea Lately and even managed to sit through roughly 10 minutes of Kocktails with Khloe. < My laptop is screaming at me for those purposeful typos. 

So let's pretend I have a talk show. The studio would be mainly black and white and hints of gold. 

Something like that. Feels like home because chances are I won't be wearing heels (exceptions made just for Oprah and Princess Kate) and will probably be laying belly down taking up the whole couch with my head and feet in the air talking to my guest in that single uncomfortable looking chair. Under that coffee table would be Cheez-its (my one food besides Mexican food I could LIVE off of if necessary) that I would probably dive into before the first commercial break. 

I don't think I'd be family friendly enough for ABC, CBS, NBC, or even FOX so I picture myself on like, E! or FX or something where I can throw a curse word or 8 into. 

If there were plants, they'd probably be half dead because I spent all my budget on getting Adele to collaborate with Fetty Wap on my theme song rather than someone to keep up with the foliage on set.

My guests would be greeted with a glass of chardonnay from boxed wine, cause, classy. 
I'd offer some Cheez-Its without a word just by shoving the box in their direction. If they decline? Eh more for me.

It'd be titled something along the lines of:

What else is on? 
I heard this isn't terrible.
Chardonnay and Cheez-Its with T.

The following guests would come and I'd ask the appropriate questions:

Lindsay Lohan: Just what ARE you doing nowadays? Off the sauce I hope?

North West: Are you okay? Like, really?

Kris Humphries: C'mon. Spill. Spill the truth tea on just how awful the Kardashians are.

Amy Schumer: Can I be your BFF?

Jennifer Lawrence: Same.

Justin Bieber: Can you not?

Donald Trump: Can you seriously not?

Farrah Abraham: Guuuuuuuuurlllll...........

Mickey Mouse: How much for you to come to my house for the week and entertain the offspring?

Megan Fox: Teach me your hawtness secrets.

Jillian Michaels: Help.

Jafar from Aladdin: Eyeliner tips?

The following guests wouldn't be allowed because I'd be charged with sexual harassment if I was within 15 feet of them:

Chris Hemsworth
Ryan Reynolds
Zac Efron
Eric Dane
Patrick Dempsy
Bradley Cooper

When the producers tell me they're pulling my show for horrible ratings

I give my show 6 months - TOPS. Eh whatever. It was fun while it (fakely) lasted.


  1. Haha--I love it! It is 8 AM and I have the giggles AND am craving Cheez-its ( and if I'm being honest, cheap wine). Liz

  2. I'd watch your show for sure!!!!! All the guests are perfect!!!!

  3. haha! sounds like it will be an amazing show!

  4. Laughing so hard. Especially jafar. If watch your talk show. But instead, you get to not wear high heels while blogging.

  5. Laughing so hard. Especially jafar. If watch your talk show. But instead, you get to not wear high heels while blogging.

  6. Hahahahaha LOVE this! You are a hoot.

  7. I would definitely give the kid the iPad for an hour to watch this show uninterrupted!


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