15 Times I Was Literally The Laziest


1. When I need to microwave something and it requires say 45 seconds, I'll do it for 44 seconds so I don't have to move my finger.

2. We've all seen that picture of the person driving their car and dragging their empty garbage can back up the driveway and into the garage --- I did that before it was a "thing".
Who the hell wants to get out of the car and walk 15 whole feet?

3. If I wear peep toe shoes and my digits need polish, just paint the toes that show.

4. Eating food off a newborn's head when it gets dropped.

5. Eating food off your shirt when you drop it because you're laying down and eating.

6. Having the dog lick my empty plate clean so I don't have to rinse it before it goes in the dishwasher. Win-Win for both of us.

7. When cleaning up crayons and tiny toys like legos and Barbie shoes, if I'm closer to the trashcan than the toy bin, guess where the tiny shit ends up?

8. Restarting the dryer so you don't have to fold your clothes. Or because they're wrinkly and you never iron.
6 times in a week on the same load.

9. I have eyelash extensions not because I'm a makeup girl, it's the opposite in fact. I never ever wear makeup anymore and I look somewhat polished.
I said somewhat. 

10. When folding laundry I come across the dryer sheets, and I throw like 4 or 5 in each load, rather than throwing them away because the garbage is too far away, I stuff them in the couch, in pillow cases, in underwear drawers, etc so :
 a) I don't have to walk
 b) I pretend like I'm reusing them by making stuff smell better.
It was funny when Rich (for once) took the sheets off the bed to throw them in the washing machine and out fell 18 used dryer sheets from his pillow case.

11. Thrown stuff at the light switch to turn the lights off.

12. Installed motion sensors that turn lights on when you walk in the room so I didn't have to lift my hand to flip the switch.
Then I once got mad at my laundry room for not turning the light on when I walked in and had to "do it myself" 

13. Told my husband I was going to workout in the basement and instead just laid on the floor playing candy crush next to the running treadmill.

14. Memorized my credit card number so I wouldn't have to get up from the couch/bed/floor for my wallet when I found something online that I wanted, like pizza.

15.

I knew i wasn't the only one. 

The sloth is my spirit animal

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